It suck when you and your best friend,

have a mad crush on the same guy. This might be the first and the last post where I get soppy and sentimental.

Throughout my primary school years, as my¬†emotional development reached this crucial level that determined pretty much all my future relationships. There was this boy I had the biggest crush on for years, I’d try to do anything to get his attention. I faked having anorexia (I know, it’s completely out of order but bear in mind I was a complete nutter) and these first few times I got drunk I’d pretend to be passing out to get him to take care of me. Just holding hands with him would make my whole body tingle and hurt, and shake at the same time.

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But that was when I was 11-14. Way before that there was this other crush, the most innocent kind.

Where even a touch of his hand would make me want to sing and puke and faint. I would make him mixtapes and watch these first, funny, viral videos to keep up with his jokes, and I would always do anything to be with him when we had to work in groups.

My other friend would slyly do the same things. Although I do realize that she didn’t mean it because it was her first big infatuation as well. But even now it still makes me feel queasy just think about the notion of losing a friend over a crush.

What would you do if it happened to you with the closest friend you can imagine, when your friendship is one of the most precious things you have? Jesus, I feel sick just thinking about dealing with something like this right now.

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